A winner and an International Survey!
~*~*~drumroll~*~*~
Camille
I will send your Email addy to Keta now!
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But there is a thing I noticed before I even started it. I read a review and the reviewer found something "creepy" and I didn't get why. So let me explain first: Devlin, the heroine meets the hero for the first time at the age of 17, nearly 18. Jake is 24 at that point and these two fell in love without telling each other. They didn't do anything more than holding each others hands and one little tiny kiss like you would kiss your brother. 5 years later they get together.
So this other reviewer felt uncomfortable because Devlin was actually still a minor and Jake was 24. So anyone else making this face O_o now? Perhaps it's a European thing but this is totally legal here and I don't think anyone would ever look strange at this couple here. Okay it would a difference if Jake would be 38 or even really creepy if he were 50 but 24? Is that really too old for her? I for myself always looked for older men mostly because the boys my age were always too immature for my taste. I got together with BF at 17 and he was already 20 at that point.I don't want to make anyone's opinion wrong here I'm actually just interested in knowing how you would look at such a pair.
Do you think 17 is old enough to have a relationship with a 24 year old?
Where would you draw the line of being too young?
23 comments:
woot!!! thank you!!!
And for the survey, I think it depends on the 17 yr old and in this case you said they didn't really do anything but hold hands and a chaste brotherly like kiss so that's fine. Intimacy with a 24 yr old at 17 is something I would frown upon but that's just how I was raised.
Well we talked about that and it's not chocking to me. Many of my friends at 15 had BFs who were more than 20. Sometimes even more.
At least here in France, I don't think it would shock anyone. 24 is not that old in comparison. It's legal too.
I guess it's a cultural thing. I wouldn't be shocked.
I draw the line at 16 years old going out with 29 or more years old. Then it's a bit creepy lol
@Camille Congrats again! You are right about that. I think it depends on the maturity too.
@pattepoilue Yep, I have to say I would say 16 too even tho I wouldn't fit in that group either. *hides*
Congrats to Camille!
Great question and survey Susi. As you indicated I feel it is a maturity issue. I know some folks are uncomfortable when the heroine or hero is under 18, however for me it is purely a number and it depends on the people involved and the story crafted for them. ;)
I could be a bit on the prude side, or it could be that I'm getting a bit old. But in RL relationship stakes I'd be a bit concerned on the 24 with 17 yr old. 6 years a big gap at that age IMO. (Though my recollections don't have 24 yr old males being that more mature than 17yr olds. LOL)
But within fiction, especially the situation you outlined in the case of this book, no that wouldn't draw a raised brow.
I didn't think it was anything weird with that age difference. What was weird was when a girl who was 13, a classmate had a bf who was 21...so wrong
@Lea Yes I completely agree.
@eddie Yep true about those being not so much more mature. It really seems to be a society thing because here it's rather common. I always had the young guy with only 3 years older. ;)
@Blodeuedd Yes I agree. A girl in my class had a 30 year old BF at 13 or 14. That was totally wrong and everyone was grossed out just not she and her parents (which actually was the weirdest thing for the rest of us).
It was common where I grew up in Aus as well, but often didn't play out too well.
I don't think it's weird. He is just a couple of years older.
But I guess everyone can have a different opinion. For example, I was very mature at 17, so I wouldn't have surprised if I was having a relationship with a 24. But that's not the case always.
People get uncomfortable when the heroine is under 18...but in this case I don't think it's creepy.
@eddie Yeah same here. Doesn't work out well oten.
@Gaby Yep again I agree. I think it highly depends on the person and perhaps also on the readers personal experience.
I think I'm a prude too. 6-7 years is a huge difference at that age; not such a big deal if they were both 10 years older but there's a lot of growing/maturing going on at that age.
I have a 17 year old son who is so not ready to date a 24 year old, and I can say when my daughters are 17 I definitely do not want them dating a 24 year old.
That being said - it sounds like in this book it was pretty chaste and I don't think it would bother me.
@Patti Yep it was not like anything happened. I'm not sure how I would think about my own children. You probably have a point there. =)
I'm more old fashioned then I thought. It bothers me that when they first met there was such a big age difference.
@Colette As it seems it really is a social thing. For me it's weird that you all think it'S too young. Makes me look like a perv. ;)
@Susi-I think it's because in the states, if a guy who is older then 18 has a fling with someone under 18 then he can go to jail-even if it's ok with the girl. That's why I'm always squeamish about those kinds of age differences. (Even in real life.)
@Colette So it'S more cuz of the law for you or would you feel the same if it were legal like for example in Germany to do this with 16?
@Susi-It's funny, because in historical romances, I'm totally fine with the age differences, b/c it's how was at the time..but now? I just think it's weird when an older guy likes a younger girl..but this is something I'll have to think about. :)
LOL, I agree with Colette - I'm okay with it in historicals. I'm not a fan of May/December romance anyway, but even if it was legal, I'd wonder at the motives of a 24yo guy dating a 17yo girl.
Oh - I asked my son if he thought he's ready to date a 24yo woman and he didn't even hesitate "yes!" hahaha!
I agree with you Susi, I think maybe we see this differently because of our European mentality. According to the laws in Hungary teenagers of 16 years old are considered as adults in matters of (sexual) relationships, so that differs from the US legal situation.
I don't think a 24 year old is too old for a 17 year old, especially since girls mature earlier. Of course these 7 years could also be more pronounced at this age then at let's say 30-37. And of course in real life a guy who is 24 could/would have different expectations of a relationship than a 17 year old one. But in fiction I have absolutely no problem with this, I agree with Caro, if the age gap was more: e.g. 17 and 27 I'd find that too much.
@Colette LOL...yeah see I think it's weird that you think it's weird. It seems to really depend on how your raised and how your society sees this.
@Patti The same motive a 35 year old guy has when he wants the 24 year old, I think. It's more that today the women are looking for an older man. I know I never even noticed the guys my age no matter how nice they were. And no surprise with your boy. LOL
@Stella Agree 100%. I think those relationships don't work out that often. Just a coincidence that me and BF are together that long. It's really not the rule. I know we are the only ones that are still together.
@stella: I totally agree with you - it isn't weird to me too... difference?
and Susi, I can understand you - I like older men too, the 'boys' my age are no 'men' for me and are to childish -.- but about 3 years older and it's perfect *g*
@Ina Yep to all you said hon. 3 years are perfect. BF agrees too. LOL
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